We humans are fascinating creatures. I love to study the way people interact, myself included.
It’s pleasant when everything goes seamlessly, but when tension and conflict come up, it becomes intriguing. The entertainment industry knows this well!
The potential for growth and innovation reveals itself in these moments! However, in real life, growth is often lost in the emotions and positioning of people.
Our interactions can become habitual, even when it doesn’t serve us.
Over the years, I’ve noticed that people have five habits or desires when it comes to conflict. Only one – gives us energy and the relief of freedom!
1. Manage it or resolve it. These are the most searched-for terms when it comes to conflict. It is tricky – these come with a desire to eliminate the conflict. It is prudent to evaluate if it is resolved or just moved elsewhere and buried.
2. Love conflict. Some people delight in creating conflict and then watching the fallout. This behavior often significantly disengages others and zaps productivity.
3. Hate it and avoid it at all costs. I observe this is a top preference. Sitcoms use this to get laughs because the behavior is relatable. Unfortunately, the costs are high physically, mentally, and emotionally. Remote working makes this a more accessible path but not productive.
4. Believe they have no conflict – Frequently, people in authority have this desire. They are above the fray. They may not see all the conflict created around them. They also may be oblivious that conflict is essential, natural, and inevitable for growth.
5. Master it! These people expect that there will be conflict and embody the principles to embrace it, explore and value differences, and remove resistance. They see it as a healthy exchange for strengthening relationships and innovating. They take care to honor the others involved.
I am curious, which is your default mode?
And, more importantly does it make you feel alive and positively engaged?