You know that person who annoys you?
What about them annoys you?
Photo by Luke Lueng from unsplash
Both appreciation and criticism often are reflections of yourself
as we tend to project what is hidden inside us onto others.
A fun way to think about this is “You spot it you got it.”
What emotionally annoys or delights you in others is likely a hidden aspect in you.
This is a pychological principle called projection. What we see in others is what we are unable or unwilling to see in ourselves.
For example, I notice I feel annoyed when people don’t follow through.
Low and behold as I self-reflect – there are areas I don’t follow through!
I have found this to be a great, though uncomfortable, way to self-reflect and grow.
Develop Power with Grace.
Asking thoughtful questions is one aspect.
The best questions foster understanding, spark innovation, diffuse negative conflict, and build influence –
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I experienced this principle in the 90’s at NTL Institute of Applied Behavioral Science. The facilitator at one point commented, “What you don’t like in other people, is what you don’t like in yourself.” I have never forgotten that moment.
Terry, I remember when I first heard this truth. I was ‘certain’ it wasn’t true. Though the longer I live it sure is! Humbling!