I wove in and out through major road construction as if in a war zone to a client meeting; it is ironic that construction is often is experienced as destruction!

As I began our coaching session my client said how giving ‘constructive criticism’ was difficult for her. There is that word again:

Constructive criticism is often received as destructive.

I believe this is why most people feel uncomfortable giving feedback – it feels destructive.

Free roadWhen caught in road construction, one way I cope is to imagine how nice this is going to be when it is finished. I focus on the improvement, the outcome.

Tip: When you give feedback, shift your thinking from ‘constructive criticism’ to deliberate feedback for improving performance.





Feedback is something constantly happening whether you are aware of it or not. Become deliberate in your feedback and you will never feel destructive again. There are 3 forms of feedback:

• Positive recognition
• Performance improvement
• Ending the relationship

If you are consistently deliberate with the first and second the third either never happens or it is not a surprise when it does.

When giving deliberate feedback be consistent with Spiral Impact concepts, include asking questions, being centered, and focused on desire outcomes or organizational feedback.

When you give feedback in this way, you can lead people to their own conclusions and hold them accountable to agreed upon behavior.

Skip the destruction and be deliberate with comfort!

New Product available:  Giving Deliberate Feedback for Leaders – a 16 page how to booklet for giving feedback.  Available in hardcopy only in the products page here.