His opinion was as blunt as suggesting I get a new nose. It wasn’t helpful or realistic. Had he been talking to someone else, he might have gotten a punch in the nose, or worse!
Recall a time when you felt sure your opinion could really help another person, what did you do? I’ve learned a few things, and they all, of course, encompass the principles of Spiral Impact.
Some helpful tips to consider:
- Have you first learned her/his views about the subject?
- Do you know if she/he wants your opinion?
- What are you trying to accomplish by voicing your opinion?
In my case, if he had asked me how I saw the subject or what my experience of it was, he would have learned that his opinion about it was irrelevant.
It all gets back to the key concept of “turn your statements into questions, acknowledgements or both” because unwelcome statements create a defense.
Some of my favorite questions before I give my opinion are:
- What is really important to you regarding ____?
- How is ___ working for you now?
- Have you tried _____?
Then, would you like some input?
Next time you want to share your opinion, think it through before you put your nose in!
PS I like my nose!