Stop Pushing!  It Alienates. To Get Buy In Do This…

Stop Pushing! It Alienates. To Get Buy In Do This…

An executive coach asked me a few years ago, “If you had the cure for cancer, wouldn’t you want to scream it from the rooftops?” He was surprised when I said, “No.” Many years ago, I learned the hard way that making definitive claims, being too enthusiastic about...
Ahh…Yes!  Don’t Yuck the Yum!

Ahh…Yes! Don’t Yuck the Yum!

Memorial Day weekend I was invited to join a group of friends for the Indy 500. The seats were fantastic. I welcomed a social event after a year of covid caution.  Score for me, something I wanted to do!  It certainly wasn’t the first time or the last time for me to...
Ahhh…Yes!   Got Momentum?

Ahhh…Yes! Got Momentum?

The wheels of change continue to turn, how is that going for you?  For me, it feels odd to be physically around people again.  I am reminded of my momentum wheel.  I find the awareness of this helpful, smoothing the turbulence of change! Change, conflict, and...
What Highway Styles are on Your Team?

What Highway Styles are on Your Team?

Recently, I had the delight of taking a long-distance road trip.  For me the road is a canvas for thinking and dreaming. The Zen saying, “How you do anything is how you do everything,” came to mind as I noticed drivers’ varied strategies on the highway.  The parallels...
Ahh….YES!  Boxes or Bridges?

Ahh….YES! Boxes or Bridges?

What is easy in the moment – judgment, separation, and even condemnation – is actually more difficult and costly in the medium and long-run. While division is playing out overtly big time in our nation – division can happen on a covert scale in the workplace and our...
Ahhh…Yes!  When does a green light mean ‘GO’?

Ahhh…Yes! When does a green light mean ‘GO’?

During this extraordinary time, many of us are making new business and life decisions. Here is a recent reminder for me, which I hope you’ll find valuable. The bright green light turn arrow was huge. I still see it in my mind’s eye. It was my right-of-way no question...
Exposed!  The Irony of Masks

Exposed! The Irony of Masks

There is a certain irony of how a mask requirement, intended to cover and protect, exposes differences and opportunities for more productive ways to communicate among families, employers, and neighbors. Like most people, I so desire our society to be able to gather...
Thanksgiving 2020 – Five Tips for Grace

Thanksgiving 2020 – Five Tips for Grace

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Perhaps like me, yours will be different this year too. Despite the adjustments – I am committed to keeping it my favorite Holiday. When there is change and conflict, Spiral Impacting brings grace to the situation. Spiral Impact is...
Ahh…Yes!  Blooming with Zooming!

Ahh…Yes! Blooming with Zooming!

Zoom fatigue has quickly become a 2020 mantra. But, just like any communication medium Zoom has the capacity to deplete us OR energize us.  I’ve been experimenting with different methods of engagement in Zoom meetings, noticing that my message actually blooms with...
Ahh…Yes!  The Best and Only Assumption to Make

Ahh…Yes! The Best and Only Assumption to Make

The best and only assumption you can make is: You don’t really understand other people, even if you think you know them well.   This applies to other races, cultures, genders, and big time to the people closest to you.  Any other assumption you make is likely...
Puzzle Pieces Everywhere!

Puzzle Pieces Everywhere!

I hope you and loved ones are well. Here is what’s on my mind lately…   Imagine: puzzle pieces falling everywhere when a jigsaw puzzle is thrown into the air. That is an image that comes to my mind when major disruption happens. Pieces get lost. Past...
Spirals are powerful – direct yours

Spirals are powerful – direct yours

Uncertainty and volatility trigger me to deepen my practice of Spiral Impact concepts rather than succumb to fear and anxiety. March 17, 2020 was the launch day of the Black Belt Edition of Spiral Impact.  This original post was written prior to the impact of the...
Ahh-Yes!  Too Many Stories, Oh My…

Ahh-Yes! Too Many Stories, Oh My…

When I was young, I dreamt of being a singer. However, I told myself a story for years that when I sang, people left the room to escape my squeaky voice. Discouraged, I chose a very different path of study, engineering. I eventually found my voice of expression...

Ahh…Yes! Did you see this through the noise?

What I’ve been thinking about lately… Simone Biles’ recent unparalleled performance in gymnastics caused me great pause, how she balances on a narrow beam, flips multiple times in the air, glides from high to low bars, and jumps with style over a horse...
Ahh….Yes!  Turning a hot mess to a cool breeze

Ahh….Yes! Turning a hot mess to a cool breeze

“Problems cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them”, is attributed to Einstein over 75 years ago. This still holds true, particularly in challenging communications. Many people address conflict at the level it was created by rehashing and building...
Ahh…Yes! Communication  in a Pothole!

Ahh…Yes! Communication in a Pothole!

It’s that time of year again when dodging potholes becomes a sport here in Indy – another aspect of ‘March Madness.’  In my little Mini Cooper hitting a pothole really shakes me up! Hitting a communication ‘pothole’ can also shake a person up.  Potholes are...
Ahh…Yes!  Clearity for You and Your Team

Ahh…Yes! Clearity for You and Your Team

I hope this finds your new year off to a great beginning! As a New Year begins, I like to  pick a theme for the year.  That theme was clarity. Having clarity means my actions and words align with my values and purpose.  This keeps me going in a desired productive...
Ahh…Yes!  Behavior Drowns Viewpoint

Ahh…Yes! Behavior Drowns Viewpoint

Fascinating times. Very reflective for me. I am curious: If SNL did a parody* about you, could you smile (or even laugh) or would you condemn? When I observe the news and even occasionally my own responses to disagreement, for me, it begs these two questions, “Did I...
Three Misconceptions about Power

Three Misconceptions about Power

I recently took another black belt test in Aikido.  With 28 years of practice under my belt I found this one to be quite fun!  This was also a time of reflection about what continues to motivate my practice.  I hope this reflection will be valuable to you. As our...
Force versus Power

Force versus Power

There’s an Important Difference.   Transcript Have you considered the difference between power and force and how your choice of which to use impacts every interaction you have whether with yourself or another person? I’ve spent a couple-three decades...
Ahh Yes! On a dark street in Boston

Ahh Yes! On a dark street in Boston

During these times…this feels right to share again. Those of you who have experienced Spiral Impact know I am a long time student of the martial art, aikido. Spiral Impact, a collaboration/mastering conflict method, is grounded in aikido principles. Fequentlly I...

Power and Force – Distinction

http://www.vimeo.com/259049773 Transcript: Have you ever considered the distinction between power and force and how your choice of which to use impacts your interactions with yourself or others? I have spent a couple-three decades exploring this distinction....
How can you be certain?

How can you be certain?

“Anyone who is so certain has got to be wrong,” my daughter’s father said upon her birth. You see, I was certain she was going to be a boy. In my mind I had collected enough evidence that to me at the time made it certain. “Certainty” by definition means without...
How can conflict and alignment coexist?

How can conflict and alignment coexist?

It can be tricky – innovation and leading edge performance require both conflict and alignment. In The Innovation Code, Jeff DeGraff states, “…it’s our impulse to resolve or eliminate conflict, in the world of innovation we need to resist that impulse, resist...
Ahh – Yes!  Perspective from Beetles?

Ahh – Yes! Perspective from Beetles?

I hosted a houseguest from Ukraine. Yuti was young and loved camping. As he passed through on his cross-country trips he’d stay here to regroup. Each time he arrived he’d tote in his pot filled with an ongoing version of his oxtail soup. He was generous with his...
Ahh…Yes!  How Agree-ers Harm Innovation

Ahh…Yes! How Agree-ers Harm Innovation

I was invited to serve on a Board of Advisors several years ago. After the second meeting, the president shared with me that my participation was causing him to rethink the name of the board.  I had taken my role as advisor seriously and thought he really wanted...
Who Carries the Weight?

Who Carries the Weight?

Strength and talent grow with the weight of responsibility just like holding this heavy rock. What happens when you take on the weight of another’s responsibility or things not aligned with your intent? As I work with leaders and teams, this is an important and easy...
Ahhh…Yes! The toughest of walls

Ahhh…Yes! The toughest of walls

Walls are made of many things: bricks, cement, wood, stones.  Yet the toughest of all walls is an invisible wall.  Composed of many things: Assumptions Righteousness about position or opinion No acknowledgement Balls dropped – promises broke Looks Misread...
Ahh…Yes!  Hazards of misalignment

Ahh…Yes! Hazards of misalignment

It seemed I was in live-action situation comedy.  Though rather than entertained, I was just confused. The owner of a high-end technical product company gives me very specific instruction about the product application.  He leaves the room. Enter his assistant, telling...
The Feedback Punch

The Feedback Punch

A punch – yep, that’s what receiving feedback can feel like sometimes – even when asked for and expected. Someone who will give you clean feedback with intent to help you grow and improve is a rarity. If you have someone like that in your life you...

Your Opinion Valued

His opinion was as blunt as suggesting I get a new nose. It wasn’t helpful or realistic. Had he been talking to someone else, he might have gotten a punch in the nose, or worse! Getting your opinion heard is easy; getting it considered valuable is different....

Spiral Question

What do you know that you do not do? While some would have us believe knowledge is power, it is not.    Applied knowledge is power. To make knowledge power become aware of what you know that you do not do, then deliberately practice and focus on it.   For...

Spiral Question

How many magical things have landed in your hand this week? If we are too busy, unfocused, and agitated it’s impossible to see those magical people, opportunities, and thoughts trying to land in our lives. Two suggestions to help catch the magic:: Expect good...

Spiral Question

What is your “dog”? http://www.vimeo.com/624397783 Listen or read the subtiltes!  And, consider walking “with” your fear!   Develop Power with Grace.  Asking thoughtful questions is one aspect. The best questions foster understanding,...