“I bet you could kick my ass.” I’ve heard so many times when people learn of my martial arts training. Maybe, maybe not. Most true martial arts have a philosophy referred to as budo. Translated in simple terms is:
If I engage in fighting I am defeated
regardless of whose ass gets kicked.
In business, actual kick ass fighting is rare. However, there are more subtle ways of fighting, with each other and ourselves. The only person you can really control is you. Mastery in your life depends on you becoming aware of when you are fighting. Then, making a different choice.
Ten subtle ways of fighting that diminish your influence are:
- Complaining about current or past situations
- Ignoring, tuning out
- Tone of voice – raised or pointed
- Expressing opinions as facts without being deemed as the expert
- Self-doubt and criticism
- Trying to convince someone you are right
- Posture and facial expression
- Over-committing your time
- Being unconscious of other peoples’ space
In the photo of aikido practice above, my partner Chris and I at first glance may appear as if we are fighting, but look closer. Notice his balance – When he intially grabbed hold of me I made a choice to move in and with him rather than fight him (spiraled in). If this were a film the next frame would be him on the floor. I didn’t kick his ass, or fight.
I redirected his attack so it didn’t hurt me, then
I easily influenced what happened next.
Fighting may be entertaining in the movies. In the business world, not so much. There are huge costs and losses in the fight.
How to do this in the business world: Awareness is the first step.
The second step is to Spiral.
If you’d like learn how to Spiral for more influence and confidence consider joining me at the free webinar Tuesday, May 24 at 3 PM EST. Register here